Dear Friend,
I almost didn't share this.
It's the first time I've spoken publicly about one of the hardest seasons in my fourteen years of building KIVARI.
Part of me wanted to keep it private.
But I know there are female leaders quietly carrying more than anyone realises.
This letter is for you.
I don't know what season you're in right now.
Maybe you're building the business you've always dreamed of.
Maybe you're quietly carrying more than anyone realises.
I've been there.
In July 2024, after fourteen years of building KIVARI, I was alone in a hotel room in China on a sourcing trip.
The room was dark. Clothes were everywhere. Room service trays had piled up. The bedside table was covered in medication. Paracetamol, Nurofen, antibiotics, pain relief. I kept hoping the next dose would be the one that made me feel better.
It didn't.
My body was shaking. I was sweating. I was so sick, and I had no idea what was wrong with me.
For the first time in fourteen years, I wasn't thinking about the next collection or the next milestone.
I just wanted to be at home with my family, in my own bed.
I ended up at a medical centre, couldn't physically get on the flight home, and when I finally made it back to Australia, I went straight from the airport to the emergency department. I spent the next five days in hospital.
Lying in that hospital bed, completely broken and exhausted, I realised something I'd been avoiding for years.
For the first time, I questioned whether I even wanted to keep going.
I even wondered if I should sell the business.
Not because I didn't love it.
Because I didn't know how much more of myself I had left to give.
That's when it hit me.
I hadn't built KIVARI to live like this.
I built it for freedom.
Somewhere along the way, I'd forgotten to keep any for myself.
Maybe you know that feeling.
The one where you believe being a great founder means carrying everything yourself.
I believed it too.
When I got home, I didn't change everything overnight.
I changed the way I lived.
I started exercising every day because I realised my health had to come first.
I blocked time in my calendar for the things that mattered instead of letting everyone else's priorities become mine.
I trusted my CEO and my team to make decisions without me.
The first time I truly let go, I was convinced everything would fall apart.
It didn't.
My team grew because I finally gave them the space to.
None of it was easy.
And if I'm honest, I still catch myself slipping back into old habits.
But every time I choose to let go, I get a little more of my life back.
A little more freedom.
Last year, I took four months away with my family. We travelled around Australia in a caravan, making memories I'll never get back.
These days, I can take a holiday without checking my phone every five minutes.
I can be present with Nathan, Atlas and Vali.
That's the freedom I dreamt about when I started KIVARI.
If you're carrying more than you should, let this be your reminder.
You don't have to carry everything to be a great founder.
Your business doesn't need all of you.
Your family does.
You do.
Don't wait until your body forces you to stop.
Build a business that gives you the life you dreamed about when you first started.
With love,
Kiki x